


Eggs

by pretendwriter



Category: Gravity Falls
Genre: AU, BillDip, Christmas Cookies, Dork Bill Cipher, Eggs, Human Bill Cipher, I'm Sorry, M/M, im sinning again, more fourth grader au
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-11-21
Updated: 2015-11-21
Packaged: 2018-05-02 15:46:47
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 671
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5253962
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pretendwriter/pseuds/pretendwriter
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>And here we learn why Bill isn't aloud to be near eggs</p>
            </blockquote>





	Eggs

**Author's Note:**

> You wanted more of this AU, so here's some more.

OK, so just writing someone a note wasn’t going to get them to leave. Bill groaned as he stared out the bus’s window; the Pines had long gotten off being that hey were one of the first stops and he was the last. It was weirdly calming to be the only one on the bus aside from the driver, Bill was definitely a person for solitude. A few minutes later the bus came to a halt outside his home, a smallish house on the outskirts of Gravity Falls with a multitude of purple and blue flowers decorating the front; which were all planted by Bill’s mother, Star, though they were now covered in frost.  
The snow crunched under the blonde’s feet as he approached his house, once he entered he was greeted by his mother.  
“What’s the matter, darlin’?” She asked, due to her southern heritage Star’s voice had the accent that could make anyone trust her without the slightest of hesitation; that was the reason Bill had no problem blurting out,  
“That stupid new boy is poisoning me!”  
Needless to say Star was a bit... taken aback by the declaration,  
“He’s poisoning you?” She repeated, her voice had now taken a tone that was a mix of concern and confusion.  
“ Yeah!” Bill ranted, “ My guts feel like spaghetti, I can’t speak, my face goes red and, and I always feel this weird lintball-y feeling whenever I’m near him!”  
Star’s concern and confusion melted away with the outburst, ‘Oh joy, his first crush!’ the blue haired woman excitedly thought as her son continued ranting. Of course, she couldn’t properly explain a crush to Bill, knowing him he’d probably react with,  
‘Is that a parasite? Rip it out, rip it out!”  
Now, it must be noted that the entire Cipher family is rather eccentric ( that’s sugar coating it), So Star reacted in a way that was considered normal to a Cipher standard,  
“ Well now, I reckon tomorrow you show him that you ain’t afraid of his poison! You show him what a Cipher is really made of!”  
“Yeah!” Bill shouted in reply, energy was coursing through him like he was a force of nature; and he kept that energy when he was in class the next day.  
In light of the holiday spirit the fourth graders were making cookies for Santa when he came to deliver the schools presents. How this worked as that each student go to do one step of the recipe. That snobby Northwest girl added the cup of flower, Mabel poured in the sugar ( and while the teacher wasn’t looking threw in some sprinkles she had fished out of her pocket), that black haired friend of Mabel added a pinch of salt, so on and so forth. When it came time to crack the eggs Bill was the only one who volunteered because, according to Northwest,  
“ Of course Creepy-Cipher wants to put dead chicken babies in our cookies.”

It was safe to say that she was definitely getting snow shoved down her back during recess.

Bill strode up to the front of the room like he had cracked eggs a million times. In actuality Bill had never cracked an egg before in his life, though he saw his dad do it a bunch of times so it couldn’t be that hard, right?  
Bill glanced at Dipped to make sure he was watching. Bill then took the egg , raised it above his and cried out,  
“CIPHERS DON’T FEEL FEAR!”

CRACK

Nine feet. The egg yolk spread nine feet across the room. It was on the walls, the desks of nearby students and a bit on the ceiling. But most of it went into Bill hair, but he didn’t really care much since the yolk and his nearly yellow blonde hair had a pretty similar shade. After that day it was made clear that, A) Bill would be receiving a lump of coal in his paper stocking and B) he was never going to be trusted with eggs ever again.


End file.
